RELATIONSHIPS 10Copyright 2014 Nouk Sanchez

Beneath every relationship and each relationship role we seem to play, lay just one simple desire. And that desire is to be seen. We want our Essence to be seen, our True Self mirrored back to us. Our deeper desire is for unconditional acceptance, Love and support; we yearn for a consistent reflection to remind us of the pristine innocence that lay at our core undisturbed by dreams of a false self and world.

While our greatest desire in relationships is to be seen, we unintentionally block it. Through the ego thought system we more often choose to trust the false sense of self we’ve made rather than to trust in the magnitude of our Being in God’s Love. And when we are misaligned through the ego self we may desire wholeness but we will sabotage it by looking for it outside us in a relationship or some kind of worldly accomplishment.

There are two problems here: Firstly, there is nothing outside us. And secondly, the “self” we have carefully constructed to offer as an exchange in relationships is the very identity responsible for blocking our deep and Holy desire: to be seen.

Some of us remain stuck in ongoing attempts to fix our relationships. We’re either trying to change others or trying to answer their calls for Love, but these good intentions so often arise from a place of lack within us. And lack which is fear unfortunately produces more of the same. The truth is there is nothing outside us to reconcile, to heal.

All healing occurs when we choose to access our Holy Self, allowing it to answer our inner calls for Love, therefore giving us the clarity and wisdom to answer all calls for Love that we may come across. However this cannot occur until we’re willing to look at our own fears and dare to express our vulnerability.

Our hidden fears and insecurities, while they remain unacknowledged, will be projected outward as self-attack and we’ll unknowingly use others to abandon and betray us. These instances happen to be our own unrecognized and therefore unanswered “calls for Love.” And we cannot expect others to answer our own calls for Love until we’ve learned to answer our own.

How can we help to answer our own calls for Love? How can we increasingly manifest this mirroring of the unconditional acceptance, Love and support that so many of us seek?

We do so by taking the (seeming) risk to be seen. And that means learning to be defenseless, vulnerable and transparent. We allow our outer defenses to drop away and we quit trying to maintain superficial roles and rules long enough for our True Self to be seen. Defenselessness is the secret key to disarming the false self. It’s a divine portal to Love here in this world, contrary to what the ego teaches. In our defenselessness, the ego, whose purpose is to PREVENT Love, to block us from joining with the one Holy Self, is neutralized.

Ask yourself, where am I fearful? And where am I mistakenly projecting my fears onto others? Am I willing to look within at all the seeming needs that I believe remain unfulfilled? And am I ready to meet my Self deeply and offer these up for true healing?

Here are some questions that may assist in unearthing exactly what the ego tries to keep hidden. “Who or what do you depend on to make you happy or secure? Are you willing to release this person (or people) from the responsibility to make you happy? (While you make them responsible you keep yourself and the other trapped in an ever looping cycle of guilt and suffering.)

Are there any relationships or circumstances that trigger you to abandon yourself? Are you prepared now to “show up” for yourself? If you don’t show up for yourself, how in the world can you expect someone else to?

Which voice in your mind do you most often choose to believe, is it the voice of fear (inner critic) or the Voice for Love?”  The answer to this question will reflect the nature and quality of your relationships. As you learn to listen and respond exclusively to the Voice of Love within, your relationships can’t help but express your choice for Love.

True intimacy arises naturally the more we choose to give our self that which we desire from others and life. It means learning to trust our Holy Self as the Source of Love; this is the Loving encouragement and support that we mistakenly try to get from others. Ironically, as we develop trust in the Holy Self we will find our relationships along with life itself clamoring to express this Love for us in all ways.

As we learn to express our own vulnerability, we allow our True Self to be seen. This is what we’ve always wanted. We can afford to let our defenses down (actually we can’t afford not to!). We recognize that our true safety lies not in our defenses but in hiding out in the open. This is where we’ll find our perfect innocence and invulnerability restored to awareness.

As I am willing to be seen, the barrier or gap between us disappears. As I reveal my Self, I am SEEN. And in my being seen, I can finally give you the gift you’ve been yearning for all this time. I see you! It’s in revealing my Self that opens that portal to me seeing you, seeing us, as the one Holy Self; the Christ I AM.

The End of Death; A Manual for Holy Relationship

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