Copyright 2016 Nouk Sanchez
Ahhh, the agony of self-doubt. I am humbled once again…on my knees, tears trickling down my cheeks. The ego is freaked out yet I recognize the real value beneath this feeling coming forth. I know that in my breaking down there is always a miraculous breakthrough. And this is where I’m at right now. The ego has been resisting this for quite some time but when I woke up this morning, I just could not hold back the emotion that led to the discovery and consequent release of the suppressed and fearful belief that spawned it.
These deeper teachings of Jesus present the FINAL phase of healing the dream of fear and they represent the most blasphemous teachings of all time. This is indeed the END of the ego’s central dream of death. This period heralds the end of the whole ego dream while it joyfully portents the emergence of the Real World. This is massive! Nothing more epic than this, has happened since time itself began.
This past 12 months have been a gigantic learning curve for me; sweeping changes within my perception, my life, my relationships and the way my purpose is taking form. Perhaps the greatest of these shifts was an initiation into what I call the Circle of Peace. It was an entirely new level of experience…one that left me literally speechless.
I still cannot find the words to describe the knowing that arose from that experience. Perhaps I will once I have come to a completely undivided state.
The only thing I can share is this: I sat with Jesus in a boundless, golden Circle of Peace. There was a prerequisite to entering this Circle and that was CERTAINTY. I had to have undivided certainty about WHAT I was in God’s eyes. I had to know unequivocally that I was guiltless, that I was pure innocence.
And in that knowing, arose an untainted memory of the glory of my Inheritance as God’s Child. This state of innocence was unprecedented. It was entirely holographic. There was nowhere that my innocence was not. I saw it in everyone, everywhere even within all the dimensions of time. It completely eradicated the past…not just for me, but for everyone who had ever dreamed apart from God.
It’s an impossibility to even contemplate a fearful thought in this state of innocence. The sanctity of our Identity cannot BE threatened. And we KNOW it here in this state of awareness. Our innocence IS our indestructibility. It’s a certainty. We have no unmet needs here. In fact there’s such an explosion of joy that it’s just unfathomable to the false self.
I was graced with this profound experience a few times last year however with all the moving and shaking that went on at the form level, it seemed I could not depth the necessary “prerequisite” (remembering my innocence) in order to re-enter this state long enough to embody its teachings.
This may seem way too simple, but the fundamental key to accessing that undefiled memory of our innocence came through a complete SURRENDER to RECEIVING. I need DO nothing! Literally. This is where words fall desperately short of extending the full impact of this experience.
After 26 years of undoing, learning, writing and teaching, in this Circle of Peace, Jesus revealed the simple secret to overcoming the whole dream of separation. This is the complete reversal of the ego thought system which involves the literal reversal of all the laws of world. Jesus told us that He had overcome the world through His resurrection. There is a secret waiting to be rediscovered. And once it is revealed and embodied unflinchingly, fear along with all its illusory manifestations, will simply cease to exist.
Healing the sick and raising the dead depends upon the embodiment of this ONE simple but crucial principle:
Everything other than this involves a separate self who believes it is responsible for DOING something to heal. Yet God’s healing is already done! It is already complete. It does not require time in order to manifest. Just ***R.E.C.E.I.V.E*** Any effort to heal or problem solve always arises from a false self believing in a false condition.
Am I Worthy? Can I Complete this Task?
Getting back to my breaking-down this morning; I really crumbled. Or should I say… the ego did. So what was the catalyst for this meltdown? Heart to heart, some of you may be familiar with the depth of my commitment to truly embody Jesus’ deeper teachings in A Course in Miracles. It’s been a monumental undertaking and I still feel somewhat of a pioneer in these “end of death” teachings.
I don’t know of anyone who consistently reverses all the laws of the world; one who teaches through DEMONSTRATION as Jesus did 2000 years ago. I know of no one who is instantly and consistently healing the sick and raising the dead via the miracle. If there were one miracle-worker in the world that was witnessing and demonstrating at this advanced level of trust, then the entire ego dream would collapse upon itself very rapidly.
For 26 years I have been driven to understand, to live and to teach Jesus’ deeper teachings. While there have been increasing miracles these past two years, there has also been an acceleration of frustration for me. It’s inner conflict over my perceived purpose.
There is a yearning, a burning desire arising from within to finally complete a Sacred Agreement that I made eons ago. This is undeniable and unstoppable. The conflict I feel is that of “self-doubt.” The closer I seem to get to actually becoming an unequivocal demonstration of Jesus’ teaching, the more vicious the temptation to doubt.
Recently, since my first experience with Jesus in the Circle of Peace around 8 months ago, I felt an unmistakable command urging me to prepare for entry into an upcoming state of QUARANTINE. The purpose? To create the necessary Sacred Space to go deeper into this Circle of Peace; and to become a literal miracle-worker. But there appeared to be all kinds of seeming obstacles to this possibility.
One of the most exacerbating of these obstacles was that my income had dried up. Our small nonprofit, Take Me to Truth, Inc was not receiving enough donations to pay me a wage. This was coupled with what felt like the end of an era for me.
After 10 years of teaching, writing and traveling to deliver workshops, I was well and truly DONE with all the “doing.” Strong inner guidance urged me to quit conventional teaching to make way for a much more profound means of healing. However…this miraculous means of healing could not reveal itself UNTIL I had actually relinquished formal teaching and stopped all the “doing.”
A Flood of Tears
This morning I awoke in a flood of tears. The time has come…whether I feel ready or not. For 26 years it was my absolute joy to learn, to write and to teach. But now it seems that all this has had to fall away. There is nothing in me any longer that wants to teach in the old way. Yet I don’t know what is to come to replace it. I must let go…and let God.
Another area of uncertainty is that I have two incredibly valuable, unpublished books that still require editing before they can be published; these are Volume Two and Three of The End of Death.
My wonderful editor/publisher recently announced that she has retired from publishing, so I am now on my own with publishing The End of Death trilogy. Our nonprofit foundation has undergone an uncomfortable yet necessary restructure and repurpose. But it has not as yet recovered enough to fund the two books being published or to financially support me during this crucial period of quarantine.
In tears this morning, I let it all out. I felt so weary from this recent inner conflict. I must honor this period of quarantine…but how will I live? If I don’t formally teach, who will support me?
And then these questions came, gently and lovingly. “Am I worthy? Can I receive?” The time has come to ask for help. This morning I asked Spirit to help me.
Is there anyone out there who would be honored to help support me financially while I traverse this next stage of advancing my level of trust in God? Is there anyone happy to give “tax-deductible” donations to Take Me to Truth, Inc. on my behalf?
I have no idea where I am going (my perception) or how it will be done. After all…it won’t be me who does it. All I do know is that I’ve reached the end of THIS road; the familiar one. And there is no way I am giving up. Instead, I surrender to God. And I trust that in my surrender, all my needs will be met.
I thank you for joining me on this journey. The greatest gift that I can give you is to heal my OWN mind. I feel called to pierce a large enough hole in the ego’s thought system, to free us all from the stranglehold of its gravitational pull. Is this arrogance? Or is this exactly what Jesus came to teach us? As I claim the Atonement for my Self, I claim it for everyone as the ONE Child of God. Amen.
If you feel inspired to offer your financial assistance to support me while I undergo this transformation, I gratefully accept your support. And from the depths of my heart, I thank you.
“There have been many healers who did not heal themselves. They have not moved mountains by their faith because their faith was not WHOLE. Some of them have healed the sick at times, but they have not raised the dead. Unless the healer heals HIMSELF, he does NOT believe that there is no order in miracles. HE has not learned that EVERY mind that God created is equally worthy of being healed because GOD CREATED IT WHOLE.” – Jesus in A Course in Miracles, Urtext
With boundless Love and gratitude,