The End of Death, Volume 2; blog reference
The End of Death, Volume 2; copyright 2020
Link to audio version of blog article

If you have already read or listened to PART ONE of this three part series – specifically the story of Nouk and Tomas – then you will know who Daniel is and how he was called into my life as a teacher and powerful catalyst for our miraculous transfer from special to Holy Relationship, with Tomas in 1990.

As I share this I’m looking back over a lengthy period of undoing my attraction to special relationships, experiencing the contrast period of transfer between special to Holy Relationship with Tomas, right through to the present – a truly miraculous Holy Relationship with Daniel more than twenty five years after we first met.

“Time really, then, goes backward to an instant so ancient that it is beyond all memory, and past even the possibility of remembering. Yet because it is an instant that is relived again and again and still again, it seems to be now. And thus it is that pupil and teacher seem to come together in the present, finding each other as if they had not met before. The pupil comes at the right time to the right place. This is inevitable, because he made the right choice in that ancient instant which he now relives. So has the teacher, too, made an inevitable choice out of an ancient past. God’s Will in everything but seems to take time in the working-out. What could delay the power of eternity?”  M-2.4.

“When pupil and teacher come together, a teaching-learning situation begins. For the teacher is not really the one who does the teaching. God’s Teacher speaks to any two who join together for learning purposes. The relationship is holy because of that purpose, and God has promised to send His Spirit into any holy relationship. In the teaching-learning situation, each one learns that giving and receiving are the same. The demarcations they have drawn between their roles, their minds, their bodies, their needs, their interests, and all the differences they thought separated them from one another, fade and grow dim and disappear. Those who would learn the same course share one interest and one goal. And thus he who was the learner becomes a teacher of God himself, for he has made the one decision that gave his teacher to him. He has seen in another person the same interests as his own.”  M-2.5.

To assist in this life-changing transition from special to Holy Relationship I feel it helpful to give some real life examples of how this transfer of trust can occur. For that reason, in this section Daniel will share his experience of when he met me (Nouk) and Tomas in 1990 including what he learned in the missing years from 1991 – 2015. Hopefully, at the conclusion of this section we will see a truly remarkable, Spirit guided Holy Relationship tapestry emerge which spans a twenty eight year period in total.

Nouk and Daniel 2017

A Message from Daniel: “I was the realtor called by Tomas to come sell their home in 1990 while Tomas was away in Papua New Guinea for three months. He arranged for me to visit Nouk and begin the sale process. However I had no idea that this meeting with Nouk was going to change my life forever. I thought I knew the purpose of this appointment. I couldn’t have been more wrong! I had just recently begun my study of “A Course in Miracles” but was not at all ready to be thrown into the deep-end of its practical application and process.

That fateful day I first met Nouk, the scene and its ramifications burnt themselves into the very cells of my being. Nothing could have prepared me for this initiation. It was the beginning I later realized, of a most sacred “rite of passage.”

I knocked on the front door; it opened. Yet when I looked into the eyes of the woman standing there greeting me, I was overcome with what could only be described as a cellular memory, an ancient past which felt strangely more “present” than anything my conscious mind had ever known. This “knowing” was more solid and more certain than anything I had ever experienced before. To say I was deeply affected by what transpired when I first met Nouk is an enormous understatement.

A divine re-union took place that day. This was a reunion that sprung open the long-buried, cage door which imprisoned my inner knowing and true purpose. It was as if I suddenly became lucid to awakening from a tremendously, laborious dream.

I really feel that I had received a profound transmission in that one, eternal Holy Instant. But it wasn’t until many years later, that I found out why.

I remember feeling that Nouk’s unwavering honesty at all times was such a delightful and refreshing attribute, and that has had a major influence on how I have communicated in all my relationships ever since.

Over the three months that Tomas was trekking in Papua New Guinea, Nouk and I met regularly. Because we were both so eager to learn to communicate authentically, we agreed to the mutual goal of overcoming a large portion of the ego’s beliefs and values together. There was immense freedom and we experienced warp-speed growth in being able to speak and share so honestly.

By the time Tomas returned home, Nouk and I had forged a deep friendship which was plagued by an added complication – physical attraction (as Nouk shared in the story of her and Tomas earlier). Needless to say, because we’d agreed to be radically honest and keep no private thoughts, I was worried how Tomas would take the news.

My experience with meeting Tomas was profound. Upon his return, Nouk had shared openly with Tomas about our friendship along with the physical attraction aspect. Even though this threatened the ego and his special relationship with Nouk, Tomas was truly amazing. I had never encountered anybody in my life before who was so utterly transparent, radically honest, and completely defenseless and yet so damned confronting! He certainly didn’t live by the world’s rules.

As a result of this “quickening” we were all going through, Tomas made a commitment to study and live the Course and to mindfully shift from specialness to Holiness. He was dedicated to this roller coaster ride of undoing the false-self’s addiction to special love and he was adamant about including me in nearly all our frequent, emotionally charged conversations.

When I think back to that time, we were all groping in the dark; but because of our joint devotion to a truly common goal, Holy Spirit came through with many miracles and the three of us learned more in that year than we’d learned in a whole lifetime. Love is not special. Love is certainly not exclusive. Love is always 100% innocence – the complete absence of blame, guilt and fear. This is the gift I received during this hugely transformative time.

Through his authentically raw and uncompromising approach, Tomas showed me in contrast just how I had been hiding from my Holy Self in what I had mistaken as real life, including my accomplishments and relationships. He called me forward to step into my God-given, authentic and Holy Self. He called on me to show up for myself.

During this particularly challenging phase, Tomas would often call on me in the late hours of the night, sometimes in distress, and other times in great sorrow. He trusted me. His “bare bones”, emotional vulnerability and defenselessness touched me to my core. I was deeply affected and I would cry with him during these times.

He was teaching me crucial lessons in genuine honesty, accountability and the infinite power of defenselessness. In his astounding honesty he was a living demonstration of the indestructible nature of the changeless Love he shared with Nouk. I’d never seen that before. It opened my heart and eyes to a whole new level of Love; one that I felt the world had never known before.

I wanted that – a changeless, whole and inclusive Love. A Love that was not of this world. But was I ready?

Tomas was the cause of a pivotal, life-changing, Holy Instant in my life. This moment stood alone, apart from time and space. Through Tomas, the Eyes of God peered unflinchingly into mine. The Voice for God spoke to me directly. Late one night in the midst of this tumultuous time with Tomas, God’s Voice boomed through Tomas to me, He roared, “Are you the Son of God!?” “Well, are you!?”

Daniel did not answer…but the Son of God did. Streaming through tears from the depths of my Soul came the unequivocal answer: “Yes, I AM the Son of God!” This transmission pierced my Soul and was to stay with me, urging me onward for what would be the next twenty five years.

Through Tomas, the Holy Spirit called me forward, to step into my divine purpose and role and demonstrated what it was like to be completely uncompromising. What a great teacher Tomas was! What he taught me during this period went on with me to form the core values which I still practice today.

We had some pretty big lessons to learn back then. For example, in a triangle such as what Nouk, Tomas and I had, there may have been a temptation for Nouk to leave Tomas and join me in a separate, “special” romantic union. We already recognized then that would be special love again which was exclusive (separating). We discussed this and joined together asking Holy Spirit to guide us through the confusion of special love toward Holy Love. Jesus shared some extremely helpful advice especially for Nouk and Tomas, which we all took literally:

“This is the time for [faith.] You let this goal be set for you. That was an act of faith. Do not abandon faith, now that the rewards of faith are being introduced. If you believed the Holy Spirit was there to accept the relationship, why would you now not still believe that He is there to purify what He has taken under His guidance? Have faith in your brother in what but seems to be a trying time. The goal [is] set. And your relationship has sanity as its purpose. For now you find yourself in an insane relationship, recognized as such in the light of its goal.” 

“Now the ego counsels thus; substitute for this another relationship to which your former goal was quite appropriate. You can escape from your distress only by getting rid of your brother. You need not part entirely if you choose not to do so. But you must exclude major areas of fantasy from your brother, to save your sanity. [Hear not this now!] Have faith in Him Who answered you. He heard. Has He not been very explicit in His answer? You are not now wholly insane. Can you deny that He has given you a most explicit statement? Now He asks for faith a little longer, even in bewilderment. For this will go, and you will see the justification for your faith emerge, to bring you shining conviction. Abandon Him not now, nor your brother. This relationship has been reborn as holy.” T-17.V.6,7. 

Daniel’s old ACIM book

Nouk went to great lengths to share with both Tomas and I Jesus’ specific instructions on the temptations during the transfer from special to Holy Relationships. In those days, we each had the green paperback version of the Course and Nouk had made special notes on a sheet of paper of all the page numbers for me to study on the pitfalls of special love. It was a huge eye-opener to say the least. I kept that piece of paper for the next twenty five years. The Healed Relationship in Chapter 17, section five, was one that I read and re-read countless times.

Nouk and Tomas were all in with the Course and the uncompromising journey it demanded.

I remember the day came when Nouk and I met for a coffee to talk about what was required to continue our relationship. It was all – or nothing. I remember that part. What did Nouk mean by all or nothing?

Now, after years of learning and living Jesus’ deeper message in the Course, I am finally able to articulate the essence of that request from almost twenty eight years ago. Did I, Daniel, have the same mutual goal of Holy Relationship? And was I willing to engage in uncompromising communication (The 7 Keys to Authentic Communication) and forgiveness in all my relationships? Was I willing to be 100% honest with my then wife who was not the slightest bit interested in this path? In other words, did I share the same common purpose with Nouk?

Nouk’s notes for Daniel 1990

Was I willing to go all the way with her on this journey? Boy that was a tough one. We shared deeply and honestly; we cried together and still the question was begging for me to answer.

Sadly, the answer was “no.” It seemed there was too much to lose at the time.

This was the hardest and saddest decision I ever had to make. I could see the heart retching disappointment in her eyes. I said goodbye to my best friend, or to be more specific, the most beloved savior I had ever known in this lifetime. Ah, the fear of Love (God) had raised its ugly head. But even more heartbreaking was that I made a deliberate choice to go back into the dream to pursue the false-self’s fantasies.

I expended myself on special relationships, business ventures, deals, extramarital affairs, financial challenges and conflict. I threw myself into the ego’s world which mirrored back to me such a level of extreme contrast that I finally admitted that I had had enough of its inevitable pain and suffering.

Even though I lost touch with Nouk for many years to come, I recognize that those two plus decades of re-immersion into the ego’s dream idols were crucial in terms of exhausting the ego’s addiction to seeking completion externally. This was a necessary period of undoing the false-self along with its body identity, through maxing out on meaningless goals, beliefs and values, to the point of hitting the proverbial wall. This is why no mistakes are wasted when we give them all to Holy Spirit, so He can divinely correct and re-purpose them into miracles.

Just to be clear, the decades we spend apart and completely out of touch had absolutely no impact on the original transmission that we had received together, the beginning of a truly Holy Relationship. This transmission stayed with me running strongly during all those years apart, and was always in the back of my mind. Where is Nouk my miracle-buddy?

It’s almost as if I knew deep down that I just had to exhaust the ego’s values and get them out of my system. So then I could once again reunite with Nouk, I was praying with all my heart that that opportunity would come.

Looking back, I recognize that first year with Nouk was such a profound agent of healing for me. It left me with a cellular imprint which would stay with me for the next twenty five years. I think the greatest impact came from her courage and radical honesty, two uncompromisingly divine qualities that completely threaten the false-self and its dishonest, special relationships. Even though I was deeply affected, it took me years before I was able to embody and consistently implement these qualities for myself.

Although Nouk was far more authentic and uncompromising than I was in those early days, I knew deep in my heart that I would arrive at that same uncompromising way of being when my willingness had matured. I held the faith that we would one day meet up again, and finally fulfill what I had felt was an ancient agreement for a Holy Relationship.

What a paradox. A quarter of a century in time went by but in essence, it was just a split second. I carried that cellular imprint with me. A spark had been lit deep inside. And nothing could put it out. Sure, the many distractions I chose to experience over the coming years seemed to numb my awareness of it at times. Nevertheless, that spark continued to glow and to grow. There was no denying it. Thank God for that spark! It was always reminding me of what had taken place in 1990…it played an important part in how my time apart from Nouk was divinely re-purposed.

Holy Spirit uses all our forays into ego land, all our seeming mistakes and divinely re-purposes them if we let Him. I now realize that nothing was wasted. And there is no guilt and no regrets. Only when we’re ready do we agree to commit fully to the path of Holy Relationship. Until then we will dabble in both worlds still looking for our completion through the body, special relationships and the illusory world.

Reunion of Nouk and Daniel 2015

The Reunion 

Through a series of miraculous events in 2014 I finally located Nouk. No longer living in Australia, she had moved to New Mexico, USA. On November 11th, I contacted her via email through her website. Five days later she responded and typically, she asked me where I was “at” in life. Specifically, she asked if I was finally willing to do whatever it would take to complete this sacred purpose of awakening from the ego dream. Talk about cutting straight to the chase!

I declared that I was wholly willing and explained in detail just why I was happily eager and willing. And that…was that! Twenty five years apart just evaporated in one glorious Holy Instant.

With me living and working in Queensland, Australia, and Nouk in the USA, we decided to communicate daily via Skype or phone. After all, we had a lot of catching up to do. Having both asked Jesus to work with and guide us, we made a choice to use the next few months apart as a purification and divine aligning process. We practiced the Seven Key Principles together and took our joint devotion to a very deep level.

After three months of this, we decided to meet up in person. Nouk flew over to meet me in Australia and we spent three magical, miracle-filled weeks together, strengthening our Holy Relationship. It was clearly obvious by now that we shared with Holy Spirit, the one truly common purpose necessary to make the relationship Holy – forgiveness.

Just after we had reunited I experienced a powerful vision in which Jesus very gently and lovingly offered me Nouk’s foot on a silver pillow. Then, while wide awake, the room was suddenly flooded with a brilliant, golden light. Grace permeated every corner of my awareness as I gazed upon her elegant foot. A long silence followed. Tears welled up from deep inside me; I sensed that I was about to be invited to commit to something that may have seemed impossible. Then, He asked me, “Are you content with just this foot of Nouk’s? If you never experience making love through the body with Nouk, do you still commit to loving her regardless?”

I broke down completely. A resounding answer surged through me and drowned all meaningless fears. “Yes!” This was an exceedingly strong visual and emotional experience while at the same time a divine transmission. The impact of this had me in uncontrollable tears for over an hour. I knew this was no ordinary message. It was a sign of a deeper agreement, one which was to come to pass soon after.

I had no previous experience of what was to come in our relationship. I really thought that I knew what a Loving relationship was. At least in this relationship with Nouk, I was certainly not prepared for the many necessary adjustments required; but I was willing. And this is all the Holy Spirit needed.

The particular form of Holy Relationship is unique to those involved. However, the Holy Relationship always evolves as mutual innocence (the content) is increasingly cherished above all else.

Mighty Companions

The relationship heals to the degree we are willing to advance our trust and that eventually necessitates the undoing of our belief in the body as our identity. The body along with its appetites must ultimately be given over to Holy Spirit to be divinely re-purposed once we’re ready and willing.

However, this is a conscious, organic process which is happily undertaken without a sense of sacrifice. It cannot occur until we are naturally eager to graduate from the body’s appetites, especially the sexual appetite. Note: See the three phases of healing the sexual appetite in chapter titled, “TransOrgasmic Union.”

Because we both consented to healing the sexual appetite, we initially went through the second phase which Nouk terms as “sex to heal.”  Some conscious couples may spend much of their adult life in this phase of healing, but there is still a further phase which is far more uncommon, which Nouk calls “divine androgyny;” an advanced state for those who are eager to heal and transcend the sexual appetite altogether and for all time.

Once Nouk and I got together in physical form we were guided to enter a long quarantine period largely sheltered from the outside world. After all, this was an inner time. This three year time frame gave us the space to go within deeply and listen to guidance from Jesus.

Our relationship’s form probably looks quite a bit different from the world’s idea of romantic relationship. It’s certainly not what the ego had in mind that’s for sure! It took me a while to unhook from my deeply entrenched beliefs about what a Holy union would look like. Having been quite a romantic kind of guy in the past, I was in for a shock with Nouk!

While we now live together, we each sleep in our own separate beds and bedrooms, and we each have our own sacred space. This is vitally important in order for us to do our own work at our own pace, as Spirit guides us.

Nouk is the most uncompromising person I know. And so am I; more so now than ever before. While together we both underwent a huge period of undoing which was powerfully accelerated due to our joint common purpose with Holy Spirit. This is what happens when two people unite in one truly common goal of Holy Relationship.

Both of us have achieved a huge degree of undoing many remaining aspects of the false self. For me it has been monumental surrendering the body appetite for sexual pleasure. This particular appetite, as I found out later, represented the very tap root of the false-self’s obsession with the body as “my-self.” This one appetite was the deepest, most hypnotic and magnetic of all…pulling me back into the body identity over and over.

Thankfully, this body appetite no longer misleads me into temptation because something far more divine has come to take its place.

Now I know that we can’t be betrayed except by a body and its seeming senses and appetites, especially if we’ve confused our identity with them. A mind cannot attack because there is only one Mind in truth. But a mind that confuses itself with a body can indeed betray. All special relationships are based on this fact. And that is why special love seems to shift, change or even end.

“You cannot perpetuate an illusion about another without perpetuating it about yourself. There is no way out of this, because it is impossible to fragment the mind. To fragment is to break into pieces, and mind cannot attack or be attacked.” T-7.VIII.4:1-3

Nouk and I are having daily experiences that reveal that we are one mind. So we recognize and celebrate our oneness, knowing the infinite gratitude we have for each other cannot ever be betrayed by the illusion of a body. In a special relationship this is reversed. We’re so hypnotized by seeing each other as separate bodies; we also think we’re further divided as distinctly different minds – and “private” minds at that.

I have finally found a deep inner peace, resting in the knowing that we are not bodies. I know now that I don’t need sexual connection or sexual release to feel a deep sense of union with Nouk and myself. That seductive lure just doesn’t have the upper hand any more. There is no more neediness. The persistent neediness and selfish agenda’s of the sexual appetite severely limits our ability to fully open to Love.

Once that sexual neediness fell away for me with Jesus’ help, I was able to see and feel the magnificent Love and innocence that was hidden behind it.

If I see Nouk as a body, I cannot connect with her via the heart or soul. It may sound completely counter intuitive to the ego, but if I see and desire her as a body, then I’m substituting her body (and mine) in place of our infinitely higher union as one mind and one heart.

Today, we have shifted into spontaneous experiences whereby Nouk and I join in complete presence, entirely lucid, via deeply tender, heart transmissions. I simply bring her into my heart in the present moment and feel into our divine purpose of Love without opposite. Often, both Nouk and I erupt into tears of awe-inspiring gratitude, where the body itself vanishes, just as darkness disappears instantly when we switch on the light.

I am now finally able to see and feel what and who Nouk really is; she is my divine mirror in life; literally my savior as Jesus tells us in the Course. And in seeing her as she is, I see my Self. I can’t tell you how hugely liberating that is. In this Holy Instant with more Love and respect than I have ever felt present in my life, I am now wholly filled with peace, joy and complete harmony in all things, inside and out. Thank God the body and its agendas are not limiting my divine experience any longer. Each moment I see and feel how divine this gift of joining truly is, it brings me to tears.

I know our function together has been re-purposed and divinely reinterpreted. I know we have a relationship guided by Holy Spirit, and one that cannot be threatened by anyone or anything.  Therefore, our only function is to show up and see each other as completely blameless and guiltless. How can someone who has agreed to join me in this, the most Holy purpose on Earth, possibly be guilty or do any wrong?

“Communication must have been restored to those who join, for this they could not do through bodies. What, then, has joined them? Reason will tell you that they must have seen each other through a vision not of the body, and communicated in a language the body does not speak. Nor could it be a fearful sight or sound that drew them gently into one. Rather, in each the other saw a perfect shelter where his Self could be reborn in safety and in peace.” T-22.I.9:4-8

Through turning everything over to Holy Spirit, including the body, I’ve learned that everything is given to us. In other words, all needs are met by Him. As I look back before our Holy Relationship, most my life was spent being distracted by seeking outwardly. I loved the chase so to speak; feeling a fleeting sense of accomplishment when I achieved my goal, or bought a particular material object of desire. But it never lasted.

Now, in place of that persistent sense of (imagined) lack with its equally debilitating addiction of trying to solve that lack apart from Holy Spirit, I’m in total gratitude. What happened?

I now realize with immense joy that I already have everything! I literally don’t need anything any longer. There is no sense of need. Imagine that. And because I don’t spend my life needing stuff anymore, I have everything. I rest deeply in gratitude for the smallest of things these days, like my first inward breath of the crisp dawn air on a frosty morning. If I’m not in a state of gratitude then nothing real is happening because I’ve abandoned my Holy Self. That’s why being thankful in each moment is my prayer. All of creation shimmers in that experience because I am there, because I am totally here and now showing up in a prayer of gratitude for all I have.

The most transformative experiences that Nouk and I are currently having are these extraordinary Holy Instants which totally eclipse the body, its senses, and the belief that we are two separate beings. It is absolutely out of this world – inexplicable. These Soul-fusing moments unequivocally defy the illusion of separation, time and bodies. They are immediate windows into eternity which instantly restore our memory that we’re wholly innocent and wholly worthy. In that all-encompassing innocence, all our fears and self-doubts dissolve and there is an infinite knowing of safety and Love.

I believe the reason we’re dwelling in these grace filled moments more and more is because of the undivided commitment we’ve made, i.e. above all else, we want to see each other as we really are – blameless, guiltless and innocent. We want to see each other as God created us, without the ego’s distortions; and this can’t happen if we see each other as bodies and entertain special agendas between us.

Jesus says that when we accept the Atonement for our self we accept it for our brother. Nouk and I know that we can’t possibly blame our self or each other – and still perceive each other as innocent. We share the same mind and this is becoming far more real and dependable than the deluded idea that we’re separate bodies with separate minds and private thoughts.

“Correction cannot be accepted or refused by you without your brother. Sin would maintain it can. Yet reason tells you that you cannot see your brother or yourself as sinful and still perceive the other innocent. Who looks upon himself as guilty and sees a sinless world? … “If you and your brother are joined, how could it be that you have private thoughts? And how could thoughts that enter into what but seems like yours alone have no effect at all on what [is] yours? If minds are joined, this is impossible.” T-21.VI.2:1-4,8-10

In closing, I attribute the quickening of our healing to one very practical tool in particular, which Nouk and I use consistently; The 7 Keys of Authentic Communication. We are devoted to this system of relating because it completely revolutionizes the way we are conditioned to communicate in this world (through fear). Using this system of communication with each other neutralizes the false-self over time.

Anything that is in-authentic must be brought to the light of truth when we use this method of communication. Destructive and often hidden beliefs, values and patterns must be unearthed, seen and given to Holy Spirit, to be returned to us as miracles when we use the Seven Keys to communicate.

Applying these principles to all our communications eventually proves without question that we’re not separate bodies with different and private minds. We’re all one! We literally share one Mind and that is our Holy Self. There is no longer any need to hide or defend when we realize the Christ is the one shared Self we are. What freedom!

In February 2016, Nouk and I were guided by Jesus to initiate a global, online Total Transformation Course (TTC), commonly referred to as the “TTC.” It started as a one year course, but has since grown into a large and loving global spiritual community, devoted to the goal of Holy Relationships.

The TTC (with its one year online course) is still growing with many new facilitators. This family has experienced so many miracles together because through the TTC we learn that it’s not only safe to be real, transparent and defenseless, but that it’s literally the invitation to know our self as the Christ!

Practicing the Seven Keys of Holy Relationship allows us to show up for our Self. In finally showing up for our Self, we discover true freedom including peace, joy, abundance and above all union.


A Universal Blueprint of Holy Relationship – PART I

A Universal Blueprint of Holy Relationship – PART II

A Universal Blueprint of Holy Relationship – PART III

Audio version

The End of Death; A Manual for Holy Relationship

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