Kathy
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Throughout most of my life, I experienced a profound sense of fear and isolation. I felt different from others – separate, inadequate, and never quite good enough. This persistent feeling was intensified by a belief that I was unfairly treated, guilty, and deeply flawed, as if I did not truly belong in this world. My body never felt sufficient, and none of my achievements seemed to measure up. The critical voice inside my head was harsh and judgmental, not only toward myself but toward others as well. Although I occasionally found pleasure and peace in certain activities and enjoyed worldly successes, these moments of achievement and happiness were always fleeting and never provided lasting satisfaction or the ability to silence the loud, insulting tenant in the mind.
For many years, I believed the voice in my head held the answers to improving my life. Its suggestions focused solely on changing the world and other people, implying that happiness/peace depended on external circumstances. The constant negativity sometimes led me to wish for escape – even contemplating death as a way to find relief from the relentless inner critic. Despite these thoughts, I never acted on suicidal impulse.
In the early 1990s, while browsing at a Barnes & Noble bookstore, I encountered Marianne Williamson and her teachings on the principles of A Course in Miracles (ACIM). Listening to her audio cassettes during my commutes became a regular practice, and I eventually bought the big blue book. Like many others, I felt drawn to ACIM’s teachings, but found the material challenging to read and understand. I began and abandoned the workbook several times before eventually setting it aside, only to return to it a few years later. By that time, I had read several of Marianne Williamson’s books related to ACIM, which reinforced my commitment to this spiritual path.
Raised in the Catholic faith, I am grateful to my parents for instilling in me a belief in God, the Holy Spirit, and Christian values. Nevertheless, I continued searching for a spiritual path that made sense and did not involve a God capable of both good and evil. My husband and I explored non-denominational churches, and, in an effort to ease my deep-seated fear, guilt, and feelings of unworthiness, I was baptized as an adult. This act of faith provided only temporary relief from my inner condemnation. Our search led us to Unity and Science of Mind Churches, and other non-dual spiritual teachings and classes.
During more spiritual exploration, in 2005, I discovered yoga and became certified to teach that year. The physical practice of yoga introduced me to meditation and breath work, which became essential tools for managing anxiety, worry, and desperate thoughts. Despite having a loving marriage, two wonderful sons, and a fulfilling professional life as a yoga instructor and Design Consultant for kitchens and bathrooms, I continued to feel unsatisfied, driven by a persistent sense of lack. My search for something that would help me feel “good enough” persisted.
In 2017, I was led to participate in a two-year program that licensed me as a spiritual counselor. I discovered through helping others I was healing myself… hmmm, this was a helpful awareness.
A short while later, in 2020, two prayer partners from previous spiritual classes encouraged me to join the Take Me to Truth family, and I registered for the Total Transformation Course (TTC). Despite the intense desire to ‘know’ peace, I was still not ready to jump in fully. I still believed the world could offer me something that would finally work and make me feel whole and complete. I was still torn between earthly pursuits like boating and traveling with my husband and puppy. I fell behind with consistent attendance and completion of the homework, and dropped out of the TTC only to discover later that I was still seeking outside myself and not finding peace and truth.
The following year, after hitting the wall too many times, down on my knees, I registered again for the TTC and finished it!!!
My participation in the TTC helped me form Miracle Buddy relationships. I also found a supportive environment to challenge ego beliefs and discover a deeper, more compassionate inner voice. Ultimately, these experiences helped me move beyond the vicious ego thought system. I began to embrace a sense of belonging and the recognition that peace is a choice I can make in any now moment by siding with Holy Spirit. I learned that God’s view of my true and changeless Identity need not be earned.
Since 2024, I have been co-facilitating the daily morning ACIM lessons and text readings. I am deepening my willingness and ability to practice the 7 keys of authentic relating. I am also developing a better understanding of Jesus’ Course and experiencing Holy Instances which reflect the peace of God which surpasses all understanding.
My willingness to study and attempt to live A Course in Miracles continues to deepen my willingness to value and integrate the following core lessons:
- “ONLY God’s plan for salvation works.” (W-71:1)
- “Forgiveness offers EVERYTHING I want.” (W-122:1)
- “Forgiveness paints a picture of a world where suffering is over, loss becomes impossible, and anger makes no sense. Attack is gone and madness has an end.” W-249.1
- “The sight of Christ is all there is to see. The song of Christ is all there is to hear. The hand of Christ is all there is to hold. There is no journey but to walk with Him.” (T-24.V.8:1-4)
Please join us as we open our hearts, discover our inner Guide, heal our minds, and awaken together through forgiveness in a safe environment.
Thank you!