Copyright Nouk Sanchez 2012

I recently received a question that I feel is very relevant and important. Will we teach and demonstrate fear by acknowledging our own emotions? Will we cry at a funeral? How do we integrate ACIM’S message while staying true to ourselves? I hope to clear up some confusion over this seeming contradiction. ~ Nouk Sanchez


Hi dear Nouk, quoting from ACIM here, “Your sighs will now betray the hopes of those who look to you for their release. Your tears are theirs. If you are sick, you but withhold their healing. What you fear but teaches them their fears are justified.” W-166.14:1-4

Nouk, I’m always thinking that when my mom/dad lay down the body, that I will not cry so as to not ‘teach fear’ to my siblings but be a source of letting them know all’s ok. I’m conflicted in this as I know Ken Wapnick says to be normal and cry at a funeral (doing otherwise just makes out as if I’m different/separate from the other people grieving). Could u possibly help me understand. I’m not that far up the ladder that I can even now know I won’t miss the person’s physically being around tho I know we are not these bodies etc. I personally messaged u precisely because I fear ‘teaching fear’ if I put my question on your facebook public wall. I hope u don’t mind.


The most important thing on this path is to stay impeccably honest with yourself. This means that if you feel afraid, angry or sad, then you must acknowledge this first before any healing can take place. Don’t try to jump ahead of where you are emotionally. If you do…you will reject the miracle, the healing and engage in a spiritual bypass.

Spirit meets us where we are in any “now” moment, no matter how badly we feel. The purpose of the Holy Instant is to acknowledge the fact that we feel a lack of peace. We believe there is a problem because we’re not experiencing total joy. In any moment we’re not in peace or joy, then our perception is in ‘separation’; separation from the eternal Love that is our Holy Self.

The Atonement is gifted us in any instant we choose to exchange our suffering for peace. When you try to repress your emotions because you want to be more Spiritual, you’re holding onto the error. The ego seizes and clings to these emotions in an attempt to keep the mistaken ‘belief’ behind them. It’s the ‘belief’  in our mind, beneath the emotion that requires healing; this is the cause of suffering. And unless we come to Spirit with wholly open hearts and empty hands, offering the effect or symptom (emotion, pain, sickness, etc.) for healing, then the true cause cannot be healed.

We don’t even need to know the belief beneath the seeming problem, for it to be healed. All we need do is ‘show up’ to Spirit with a sincere desire to have our perception of suffering healed. Give the emotion to Spirit and ask for your perception beneath it to be healed. Forget any attempts to ‘understand.’ These arise from the ego and the ego cannot understand anything. “Do you want to understand, or do you want peace?” Choose only one. The dreadful longing to understand why something happened, is an ego trick. Drop it. And choose to desire only peace. Peace is the outcome of surrendering our issue or emotion completely to Spirit.

In choosing to drop the ego’s desire for understanding, peace will dawn. And as this peace becomes more warmly welcomed in your heart, then a divine understanding takes place. The ego takes no part in this process.

I am learning that the best way I can help another, is to acknowledge what’s going on inside me first. And offer that up to Spirit as soon as possible. By releasing this to Love, I help to heal the ONE split mind which will teach Love and not fear. Remember that all minds are joined. The healing that I receive, is received by all. So it’s not about trying to be Spiritual. It’s really about learning to trust ourselves and daring to express our vulnerability.

Be gentle with yourself. Your role is to maintain mindful awareness of when you feel a loss of peace. Acknowledge these and surrender them to Spirit, in exchange for the miracle. This is the Atonement that Jesus gave us for any moment that we need it. The healing of your perception is a process that asks you to be present with yourself, with Love and gentleness. This is a process aimed at returning your awareness, to your Beloved and Holy Self. Finding your one great Love,  is the discovery of who you are under all your mistaken beliefs and values. The mission is to Know Thyself…so that any uncomfortable feelings or issues that arise are divine opportunities to release them to Spirit. This is true forgiveness.

Following are the steps to accepting the miracle, the Atonement. Try being still and drop right into your heart. Allow the emotion or issue to be felt and acknowledged. You are not alone; Spirit is with you in this instant. Do you truly desire to heal the cause of this issue or feeling? If so, you might want to follow these steps below:

Forgiveness Process – Accepting Atonement


1.      I recognize I am not at peace, so I must be wrong-minded. And I want to be at peace so I ask Spirit to help me look at my mind.


2.      I remember that any sign of threat, pain, sickness, sadness or grief, anger, conflict, or scarcity is not part of God. I acknowledge this is the ‘ego’ in my mind. I remember that I must deny the ego’s appearances and focus on the Love that is Truth, beyond all appearances.


3.      I invite You (Spirit) in to look at these fears and judgments with me. I will not judge myself or another while we do this. I will leave a space of total non-judgment, so as you can fill it with Love and healing.


4.      As I look on it all, I say to myself with sincerity, “Even while this appears as a problem, and despite feeling fear, sadness, anxiety, anger, guilt, or doubt – I open myself to receive healing through the miracle, in this instant.”


5.      God is in everything I see, because God is in my mind. What God sees through my mind, is healed. Together, we look past ‘ego appearances’ as they represent our unconscious ‘wishes with the ego’. In looking past appearances we join with God (light) in asking to perceive what is true, beyond ego appearances (darkness)…this is forgiveness.


6.      A Prayer to Spirit within:

“Spirit, I accept the miracle being Your Atonement; I accept Your divine correction of error in my mind, and I allow Your healing to flow through my mind. I accept that You can heal both the cause and effects of any problem, as they are both in my mind together. If the problem’s ‘appearance’ continues, or if there are continuing ‘symptoms’ (appearances) that cause me to doubt – then I offer these doubts to You as well, to correct in my mind. I remember that in any holy instant that I sincerely accept Atonement, it is done! To continue to be concerned after I have forgiven and accepted Atonement, is to doubt Your Love and prolong the illusion of time and suffering. Remember: Love without trust is impossible; doubt and trust cannot coexist.”

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