From The End of Death, Volume Two
Copyright 2018 Nouk Sanchez
Listen to the AUDIO VERSION here
When we undo what the false-self wants to see in others, the body and the world, what we then see – will heal.
If we see evidence of sin (guilt) in others, the body or the world then it’s because we want to see it there. This is perception’s basic law. Everything we see and feel is there because we put it there by our unconscious desire for it in the first place. Desire for it must precede its seeming appearance.
There are no sinful people. There is however, an unhealed desire to see sinful people.
To the degree I am triggered by conflict and injustice is the degree that I actually put it there. The ego filter wants to see sin in others and the world. Its identity depends on it. It hunts for it all the time. This is the ego’s lifeblood, its secret desire to be unfairly treated so it can continue to project separation. And because our distorted will (ego) is so powerful we manifest exactly what we want to see – because we put it there in order to see it!
“To the extent to which you value guilt, to that extent will you perceive a world in which attack is justified. To the extent to which you recognize that guilt is meaningless, to that extent you will perceive attack cannot [be] justified. This is in accord with perception’s fundamental law: You see what you believe is there, and you believe it there because you want it there. Perception has no other law than this.” T-25.III.1:1-4
All the drama, the conflict, the injustice, the pain, disease and death are there for just one reason – the false-self wants it all and so it materializes its un-healed desire. These are the fragile relationships of the world where love can just as easily turn to hate. This is the world we seem to see. This is not an independent world which we are powerless to change. In contrast, every Holy Instant affords us the grace to glimpse a World that lives shining in radiant innocence if we so choose.
Thank God there is another World beyond the one we see, and this one is called into our experience as we learn to withdraw our own projections of attack. The Real World is here now. But we cannot see it because we want to see a world of separation instead.
That way we will never go within to forgive our self for having projected it in the first place. And by projecting it we end up amassing this unconscious self-attack. And this is precisely why the body ages, gets sick and dies. It lives out our denied guilt and it’s this that kills it. Otherwise, the body would be known as a completely neutral tool through which we extend only the Truth within, and that is Love.
The seeming laws of this world are of our own making through our distorted desire for them. They are not God’s Laws and therefore, have absolutely no jurisdiction over us. In fact we have dominion over all the seeming threats that we made, once we forgive our self for having unknowingly desired them.
Everything we perceive comes exclusively from just “who” we have chosen to look externally with. Is it with the ego or with Holy Spirit? We always look inward first and then we decide exactly what we want to see in others, the body and the world. We choose these as specific witnesses to prove to our self what we value, either separation or union. This is literal! We always behold that which we seek.
“I said before that what you project or extend is up to you, but you must do one or the other, for that is a law of mind, and you must look in before you look out. As you look in, you choose the guide for seeing. And then you look out and behold his witnesses. This is why you find what you seek. What you want in yourself you will make manifest, and you will accept it from the world because you put it there by wanting it. When you think you are projecting what you do not want, it is still because you [do] want it.” T-12.VII.7:1-6
Where will we Find our True Identity?
Now here is a dilemma. We have trained our self to look for our identity and worth in a self-made fantasy world of guilt, blame and pain. As children we begin to search outside our self for evidence of our nature and worth. Are we good or sinful? Are we worthy or unworthy? Are we Loved or unlovable? Are we simply never good enough? And the list goes on. We can all apply our own individual flavor to this list.
Yet what we rarely realize is this. Even before we came in to this lifetime we had a secret agenda to: 1) perceive the world through a delusional filter (ego), and, 2) appoint certain individuals to abide by our secret wish to be unfairly treated, so that we could blame others and perpetuate our guilt.
Those of us like me, who grew up with a low sense of Self-worth, will usually unwittingly project that self-loathing onto others, and hence attract exactly the same mirroring from their relationships and the world. This all comes from our initial and un-corrected desire to see in the world that which we put there – our unconscious wish to be attacked so we could blame others, the past, the body or the world for our misfortune.
Remember that whatever we give (project) we end up keeping and accumulating for our self. Unfortunately, we chose to see blame in others so we would keep that guilt for our self. And while we choose to see another as guilty then our relationship with them is not real.
The special relationship is a classic example of this dynamic where we say we “love” someone but we still keep grievances against them. Yet are we willing to realize that the only way we could possibly lay blame on them…is because we our self, first placed the desire to be attacked there? And not the other way around.
“In any union with a brother in which you seek to lay your guilt upon him, or share it with him or perceive his own, [you] will feel guilty. Nor will you find satisfaction and peace with him, because your union with him is not real. You will see guilt in that relationship because you put it there.” T-13.X.3:1-3
Let’s not look to the ego world which we projected, to try to find our Self. Let’s not look into the darkness that we projected to find the light we are. The world we seem to see was projected by fear and is a mirror of our insane belief in the Godless concept of punishment and reward. We cannot possibly find our Holy Self within that fantasy of pain.
Instead, we need to desire to see past this fantasy and look upon the Truth which we previously turned away from. We will always see and feel that which we want, what we value. But first – we must put it there through our desire for it.
Then it can reflect the Truth and light of “What” we are. It will mirror the incorruptible innocence, Love and joy that we are. But we must first be willing to see everyone’s innocence. This is how we finally recognize our own True worth and changeless Identity as Love itself. We must give it in order to realize that we have it. And that we must have had it all along if we can indeed give it.
So now we refuse any longer to look toward the ego’s world of blindness to ask, “What am I?” because “it” does not recognize or value the Truth of our Identity in God. This ego world is a transient stranger:
“Ask not this transient stranger, “What am I?” He is the only thing in all the universe that does not know. Yet it is he you ask, and it is to his answer that you would adjust. This one wild thought, fierce in its arrogance, and yet so tiny and so meaningless it slips unnoticed through the universe of truth, becomes your guide. To it you turn to ask the meaning of the universe. And of the one blind thing in all the seeing universe of truth you ask, “How shall I look upon the Son of God?” T-20.III.7:5-10
We will find our True Identity to the degree we extend it to others in our relationships. This is the only way we could possibly retrieve it – by giving it away. And this is also how we lost awareness of our Identity in the first place, by giving away its opposite as guilt, as judgment and as blame. We have unwittingly projected a world of suffering and asked it to mirror to us our imagined worthlessness.
We have used this insane world and our special relationships as “references” in which we seek to find our Self. In our hurtful relationships we have asked for meaning in darkness. We have looked for meaning in madness where there is no meaning. In Truth, this is because we were too afraid to find our True Identity as the Love we are, so we blindly asked for pain instead.
Now we can make a miraculous “about face” and decide to look at the Real World in whose glorious reflection we find our True Self. We do this by recognizing with joy what is really there in others; that which we could not see before because we had overlaid our own guilt upon them. We won’t experience the Love we so deeply yearn for until we are willing to extend this blamelessness to others via the means which is forgiveness.
We cannot look to the ego’s version of relationships or the world to find our most beloved and Holy Self. We will find it only in those who have come to us to in benediction, offering us the forgotten grace of forgiveness by which we come to know our changeless Identity in union with our beloved brothers and sisters, with God.
“The world you look on is the answer that it gave you, and you have given it power to adjust the world to make its answer true. You asked this puff of madness for the meaning of your unholy relationship, and adjusted it according to its insane answer. How happy did it make you? Did you meet your brother with joy to bless the Son of God, and give him thanks for all the happiness that he held out to you? Did you recognize your brother as the eternal gift of God to you? Did you see the holiness that shone in both you and your brother, to bless the other? That is the purpose of your holy relationship. Ask not the means of its attainment of the one thing that still would have it be unholy. Give it no power to adjust the means and end.” T-20.III.8:3-11
When we want only Love we will see nothing else. But we must first want it. Above all else. This cannot happen while we still desire to see what is not there such as judgment, blame, guilt, betrayal, abandonment, conflict, disease, loss and death. We will recognize our desire for these illusions is still intact by the degree we are still triggered by them; and by our need to defend our self from them. This reveals just how real – how valued – they are for us. And recall that whatever we still believe is real is valued, and while it’s still valued, it cannot be forgiven.
“When you want only love you will see nothing else.” T-12.8:1.
If we genuinely want Love then we will boldly and deliberately join with Holy Spirit in our desire to see others as they really are, and not as the ego has commissioned them to appear. We must want to see others as guiltless, as blameless before they finally witness to our transformed desire to see them as blameless. The ego’s insanity reverses this universal law by demanding that others prove their innocence before it is willing to acknowledge its possibility (which it never does).
“When you forgive the world your guilt, you will be free of it. Its innocence does not demand your guilt, nor does your guiltlessness rest on its sins. This is the obvious; a secret kept from no one but yourself. And it is this that has maintained you separate from the world, and kept your brother separate from you. Now need you but to learn that both of you are innocent or guilty. The one thing that is impossible is that you be unlike each other; that they both be true. This is the only secret yet to learn. And it will be no secret you are healed.” T-27.VIII.13:1-9
Our incorruptible innocence is shared. It cannot be known and thus embodied while we still condemn another. This shared innocence is the very Heart of Love. This is the supreme Essence of our deeply cherished and Holy Self. Our innocence is our True Identity. And it can only be known through our brothers and sisters. We will see in others what we believe we are. They are our blessed mirrors come to help us lift the heavy and cruel veil of Self-condemnation.
“We have already learned that this Identity is shared. The miracle becomes the means of sharing It. By supplying your Identity wherever It is not recognized, you will recognize It.” T-14.X.12:5-7
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