Below is an exchange between me (Nouk) and Myron Jones, who is also an ACIM student and teacher. Our conversation is about my recent Blog Post: Approaching the Core of the Ego Thought System. I felt it was really helpful so I’d like to share it with you.
MYRON:Nouk, I have been confused and discouraged lately because I have been experiencing this free floating anxiety stemming from guilt that I haven’t been able to put a story to. It is not constant, but occurs in spurts. For years now I have been watching my thoughts and asking for correction. I never have a wrong-minded thought I am not willing to see differently anymore. But then this feeling of being guilty or fearful and then a kind of amnesia as I try to let it go, my mind just freezing up, unable to think even what to say to Spirit. It has led to a feeling of depression. All the time, though, I am asking for help and talking to Jesus and I knew this was not the truth, so I wasn’t completely lost even in the worst moments. Last night I told Jesus that I really need some help, that I don’t know what to do anymore with this. Then this morning he sent me you. I feel better and encouraged. Thank you.
NOUK: Myron, thanks for sharing this. It seems from my experience that as I got closer to the core of the ego thought system…the darker and bleaker it felt. At least before, there seemed to be many “personal” forgiveness opportunities that kept me feeling as if there was progress. There was a kind of HIGH that came from forgiving all my projections.
Now, like you, it feels as if there’s just this nameless and seemingly source-less guilt (impersonal guilt) and fear that tends to spike here and there (like depression). But what’s missing is the “personal” factor. It feels like THE original guilt from the separation. Recently I’ve been acutely aware that there is only ONE Son of God who chose the dream of separation. And it’s dawning on me that I AM that one. At least before, the initial agony of seeing this was partially offset by the belief that the original decision for separation was a SHARED one with many others. But lately, I have had the deepest feeling that it was not a group decision. The reason is that there is only ONE CHRIST, ONE PRECIOUS CHILD of GOD. Each one of us is that ONE. It was the Christ Who made that initial and innocent choice to play in a dream of separation. It was not the ego. The ego was an EFFECT of the Christ’s decision. So…when I saw this it kind of spun me out a bit.
Perhaps part of this nameless guilt/fear phase calls for the recognition that I as the Christ (not the ego), must take 100% responsibility for this seeming “detour into fear” BEFORE I can be completely free of ALL guilt/fear. Only then can my awareness be fully restored to the Innocent Perfection, Grace and Glory that God knows me to be…but that I had chosen to forget.
The fear that arises from seeing this at first (only when the ego looks upon it) sometimes eclipses my sanity. Thankfully though, I see that this, as uncomfortable as it seems, is a part of the whole undoing of fear/guilt that I must have signed up for. It’s all good! There is nothing that cannot be used by Spirit’s Love to bring our heart back to its Source as Love. That means that everything is perfect – always.
MYRON: So as each of us wake up, it is really the ONE of us making the choice over and over through each of us. You are the ONE looking at it through your imagined separate self, and from my point of view I am the ONE, but really that ONE is the Christ that we are and the “we” part is just an illusion but one we have to back out of “one” at a time because that’s what we believe we are. It just seems like a personal decision because of our narrowed vision in which we each see ourselves as separate. Is that right? I think there is a place in the Course where Jesus says he wakes again with each of us.
NOUK: Yes, there is only ONE Child of God. It’s my understanding that this ONE Child who is the Christ, upon making the decision to fall asleep and dream of separation, dreamt that he became many separate individuals.
From within the dream of fear we perceive each person as a distinctively different being who “appears” to be apart from us. We have fractured the ONE Holy Self in our distorted perception. And until our own mind becomes whole and undivided again via comprehensive forgiveness of everyone and everything, we will continue to suffer because we believe that we’re separate and therefore threatened.
This world and all the seeming people in it are part of a grand hologram. However the single source of this hologram is in MY own mind. It is not anywhere else. The whole healing of the world, of time and space, occurs in MY own mind. If I want to help others and heal the world then I must agree on one Truth: The one responsibility of the miracle worker is to ACCEPT the Atonement for himself.
Jesus, as the first to awaken completely FROM the entire dream of separation (birth/death), has ALREADY healed the separation through His resurrection. He completed the Atonement for us all. It’s already over. This is why our only responsibility is to ACCEPT our healing via the miracle.
Jesus tells us that:
“One wholly egoless therapist could heal the world without a word, merely by being there. No one need see him or talk to him or even know of his existence. His simple Presence is enough to heal.” P-2.III.3:7-9
One wholly egoless Child of God IS the risen Christ whose mind is now undivided. It only takes ONE to heal the world. And the reason it takes only one to heal the world is that only ONE made the world 🙂
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RE~REMEMBERING Beautifully 🙂
AS I READ THIS, MEMORY TELLS ME THAT I READ THAT PART OF HOW J. MADE IT HOME BEFORE US ALL, IS THAT EVERY TIME HE LOOKED AT A PERSON, HE SAID TO HIMSELF
” YOU ARE CHRIST, PURE AND INNOCENT, FORGIVEN AND RELEASED.” I OFTEN SAY IT TO ME, WHEN I FORGET WHO I REALLY AM. OTHERWISE I TRY TO REMEMBER TO SAY IT IN MY MIND, TO EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO MY MIND, AND IF I DON’T REMEMBER RIGHT AWAY, ONLY A FEW SECONDS AFTER THE WORDS/THOUGHT COMES TO MY MIND. AS EXAMPLE, WHEN I WALK TO MY MAIL BOX I KNOW HOLY SPIRIT HAS SET UP WHO OF MY APT. NEIGHBORS I WILL MEET JUST SO I CAN SAY MENTALLY EITHER ‘SAYING OF JESUS’ .
AS TIME GOES BY MY MEMORY RELEASES RESISTANCE MORE AND MORE AND I SAY IT MORE AND MORE. I ALSO ADD ‘TRUE FORGIVENESS’ TO EVERY ILLUSION I’M AWARE OF, INCLUDING MYSELF, BECAUSE NO ONE IS THERE, THE ILLUSIONS ARE NOT THERE, I AM NOT THERE…BECAUSE WE ARE ALL STILL HOME WITH ‘FATHER’ AS THE DREAM GOES ON, FOR NOW…..AS SOON AS I WAKE UP COMPLETELY, I KNOW ALL IS WELL, BECAUSE WE ARE NOT ALONE AND ‘FATHER’ HAS SET UP ALL POSITIONS NEEDED TO SUPPORT US AS WE GO THROUGH THIS PROCESS OF LEARNING. ” GOD IS ” 🙂
Thanks for this Sally!
Heart hugs,
Nouk 🙂
Thank you NOUK and thank you MYRON, this is so very deep and true. Only when I am willing to really take over the full responsibility as the ONE for the whole, in the first place I feel my joy and peace coming from this acceptance and the oneness with Jesus and GOD. And from this very place my forgiveness of all I see has that real power, and then we really dig in the dirt of the whole and go through the full darkness. It might be for a moment we feel desperately imprisoned in the body and all old believes, but this is making a resonance with millions of brothers being part of me, and then Jesus and forgiveness pulls me with 1000send out of it. That is what Jesus explained to me, and I was thankful for this.I just accept it and let it happen without fear and ask him in fullest faith to pull me through this field. I LOVE YOU BOTH YOUR HEIDE
Since I am this one who has dominion over all thoughts in my mind, I have the power to change the way I view the world, which is a reflection of my thoughts. I practice harmlessness of all beings. Nouk I notice you and most acim students and most spiritual people only mention people in this dream, which I find most frustrating as we speak of compassion, love, oneness, etc and leave out the animal kingdom completely, as they are exact dream figures as humans, so as we speak of our brothers in only human terms and our animal brothers we are dining off of, not caring to end the extreme cruelty, torture, attack and violence that humans meter out upon them. We know that attack thoughts manifest as physical attack so we our against war, rape, human murder, but we live off the murder of animals as food and don’t bat an eye to this barbaric mass muder of sentient beings, where is our compassion now. The ego gets to stay alive and well cause if our attack and guilt were only keep in the human species, the human race would have been extinct centuries ago. But the ego switched it up and now can use attack and muder upon the one billion animals murdered daily worldwide and get no push back from humans. 98% of the worlds population are flesh eaters and eat the death and suffering of these beautiful animal brothers so the ego’s motto living at the expense of others is alive and well, death and murdereous attack is alive and well and the ego gets it’s cake and eat it too and people are ok with the attack, torture, murder of animals and in fact deem it necessary for them to survive, although it’s mostly a taste bud choice, the weapons of mass destruction is the human taste bud and stomach. . So I take the harmlessness of all beings as my motto and I will be the one who will do it for all brothers, I live this credo and eat no animals and their secretions, I strive in thought and action to be harmlessness to myself and ALL BEINGS in this illusion, so I can leave guilt, attack, separation, behind and wake up from this dream. Harmlessness is of major importance in the illusion, since that’s what we/god is harmlessness, no opposing force, no death. I use what I am harmlessness while in the illusion to help propel me from the illusion. Why aren’t all spiritual seekers noticing how attack and muder thoughts are alive and well manifesting upon the animals and stopping doing violence in their thoughts and actions ASAP. I am stunned at this inconsistency in spiritual circles, anyone saying it doesn’t matter, is just addicted to eating flesh and doesnt want to change and yet chants the body isn’t real, but can’t give up eating the bodies of terrorized, tortured, murdered animals, the insanity, the insanity.
Hi Joanna,
I feel this following excerpt will help to shine some light on your concerns. It is about True Harmlessness: http://undoing-the-ego.org/noukblog/?p=1166
Warm blessings,
Nouk 🙂
Thanks so much Myron and Nouk.
This helps.