Below is an exchange between me (Nouk) and Myron Jones, who is also an ACIM student and teacher. Our conversation is about my recent Blog Post: Approaching the Core of the Ego Thought System; Here is that link: https://nouksanchez.com/nouks-blog/approaching-the-core-of-the-ego-thought-system/ I felt it was really helpful so I’d like to share it with you.
MYRON:Nouk, I have been confused and discouraged lately because I have been experiencing this free floating anxiety stemming from guilt that I haven’t been able to put a story to. It is not constant, but occurs in spurts. For years now I have been watching my thoughts and asking for correction. I never have a wrong-minded thought I am not willing to see differently anymore. But then this feeling of being guilty or fearful and then a kind of amnesia as I try to let it go, my mind just freezing up, unable to think even what to say to Spirit. It has led to a feeling of depression. All the time, though, I am asking for help and talking to Jesus and I knew this was not the truth, so I wasn’t completely lost even in the worst moments. Last night I told Jesus that I really need some help, that I don’t know what to do anymore with this. Then this morning he sent me you. I feel better and encouraged. Thank you.
NOUK: Myron, thanks for sharing this. It seems from my experience that as I got closer to the core of the ego thought system…the darker and bleaker it felt. At least before, there seemed to be many “personal” forgiveness opportunities that kept me feeling as if there was progress. There was a kind of HIGH that came from forgiving all my projections.
Now, like you, it feels as if there’s just this nameless and seemingly source-less guilt (impersonal guilt) and fear that tends to spike here and there (like depression). But what’s missing is the “personal” factor. It feels like THE original guilt from the separation. Recently I’ve been acutely aware that there is only ONE Son of God who chose the dream of separation. And it’s dawning on me that I AM that one. At least before, the initial agony of seeing this was partially offset by the belief that the original decision for separation was a SHARED one with many others. But lately, I have had the deepest feeling that it was not a group decision. The reason is that there is only ONE CHRIST, ONE PRECIOUS CHILD of GOD. Each one of us is that ONE. It was the Christ Who made that initial and innocent choice to play in a dream of separation. It was not the ego. The ego was an EFFECT of the Christ’s decision. So…when I saw this it kind of spun me out a bit.
Perhaps part of this nameless guilt/fear phase calls for the recognition that I as the Christ (not the ego), must take 100% responsibility for this seeming “detour into fear” BEFORE I can be completely free of ALL guilt/fear. Only then can my awareness be fully restored to the Innocent Perfection, Grace and Glory that God knows me to be…but that I had chosen to forget.
The fear that arises from seeing this at first (only when the ego looks upon it) sometimes eclipses my sanity. Thankfully though, I see that this, as uncomfortable as it seems, is a part of the whole undoing of fear/guilt that I must have signed up for. It’s all good! There is nothing that cannot be used by Spirit’s Love to bring our heart back to its Source as Love. That means that everything is perfect – always.
MYRON: So as each of us wake up, it is really the ONE of us making the choice over and over through each of us. You are the ONE looking at it through your imagined separate self, and from my point of view I am the ONE, but really that ONE is the Christ that we are and the “we” part is just an illusion but one we have to back out of “one” at a time because that’s what we believe we are. It just seems like a personal decision because of our narrowed vision in which we each see ourselves as separate. Is that right? I think there is a place in the Course where Jesus says he wakes again with each of us.
NOUK: Yes, there is only ONE Child of God. It’s my understanding that this ONE Child who is the Christ, upon making the decision to fall asleep and dream of separation, dreamt that he became many separate individuals.
From within the dream of fear we perceive each person as a distinctively different being who “appears” to be apart from us. We have fractured the ONE Holy Self in our distorted perception. And until our own mind becomes whole and undivided again via comprehensive forgiveness of everyone and everything, we will continue to suffer because we believe that we’re separate and therefore threatened.
This world and all the seeming people in it are part of a grand hologram. However the single source of this hologram is in MY own mind. It is not anywhere else. The whole healing of the world, of time and space, occurs in MY own mind. If I want to help others and heal the world then I must agree on one Truth: The one responsibility of the miracle worker is to ACCEPT the Atonement for himself.
Jesus, as the first to awaken completely FROM the entire dream of separation (birth/death), has ALREADY healed the separation through His resurrection. He completed the Atonement for us all. It’s already over. This is why our only responsibility is to ACCEPT our healing via the miracle.
Jesus tells us that:
“One wholly egoless therapist could heal the world without a word, merely by being there. No one need see him or talk to him or even know of his existence. His simple Presence is enough to heal.” P-2.III.3:7-9
One wholly egoless Child of God IS the risen Christ whose mind is now undivided. It only takes ONE to heal the world. And the reason it takes only one to heal the world is that only ONE made the world 🙂
The End of Death is available via www.endofdeath.com