When we’re threatened by relationship conflict, illness, or any other form of adversity, we cannot heal the fundamental CAUSE while it remains hidden from awareness. When we locate the false-self’s “core desire,” it will certainly fast-track the healing process.
There are two distinctive ways to perceive. The one we’ve conditioned our self to value and adopt is through the split mind of fear which is fueled by un-relinquished guilt. The other is through perfect Love untainted by sin, guilt or fear.
Everything we perceive, including our body, our past and each person we encounter arises literally from our own perceptual filter. Every experience we have either good or bad is chosen by us. This is mostly unconscious until we largely relinquish our attraction to separation and self-attack.
The people we seem to relate with, the body we seem to inhabit, and the world we appear to witness, are all fabricated by the trajectory of our very own desire. What we experience emerges directly from the “aim” of our core desire. Everyone and everything in the seeming world is neutral. We give everything we perceive all the meaning that it has for us. Without our own personal interpretation of everyone and everything, they have no meaning of their own because they are neutral.
We don’t interact with others. We interact with our own “interpretation” of them. They always respond to us according to the aim of our core desire.
This core desire influences every single encounter and experience we have. But while the false-self’s desire remains hidden and un-relinquished to Holy Spirit, it must be projected outward onto others as relationship conflict, and onto the body as pain, disease, aging and death.
For example, before my healing I experienced decades of victimization in many forms. This included childhood abuse, sexual abuse and many relationship conflicts. There was an undeniable pattern running. I seemed to be a victim of people and circumstances out of my control. On top of that, I felt continually judged by others; I just could not please them no matter how hard I tried. I felt besieged by condemnation from others. For the life of me I could not understand why others were so critical of me.
Many years later, when I had truly reached my limit with this pain, I asked Holy Spirit for help. Finally, with His help, I got to see the singular cause of this incessant conflict, with its self-doubt and unworthiness. Furthermore, it had absolutely nothing to do with what I had believed was the cause which was my past abuse. In other words, the singular cause is never external, in another person or in the past.
The sole cause was the false-self’s undisputed conviction that it was unfairly treated. This conviction that we were or could be unfairly treated, is the false-self’s core desire. The special self cannot be maintained without this belief. It must be unfairly treated in order to maintain its fuel – which is to believe in sin, guilt and fear. Its illusory identity is reinforced by the belief we are separate bodies instead of one, shared, glorious Holy Self.
The “core desire” of the false-self is to see in others what we deny, yet want to see in them. Guilt. The ego wants proof that we are separate bodies. Guilt is that proof. It always brings separation and attack in all its numerous forms.
The ego’s core desire for separation is impersonal. Although it is an epidemic in the world we seem to see. Through the dimensions of time we chose to teach our self how to see apart from Love and innocence. We taught our self to perceive the body, others and the world through this treacherous filter of sin, guilt and fear. Yet we are seeing what is not there!
“If you are afraid, it is because you saw something that is not there. Yet in that same place you could have looked upon me and all your brothers, in the perfect safety of the Mind which created us.” T-12.VII.10:4-5
“As you look with open eyes upon your world, it must occur to you that you have withdrawn into insanity. You see what is not there, and you hear what makes no sound. Your manifestations of emotions are the opposite of what the emotions are. You communicate with no one, and you are as isolated from reality as if you were alone in all the universe. In your madness you overlook reality completely, and you see only your own split mind everywhere you look. God calls you and you do not hear, for you are preoccupied with your own voice. And the vision of Christ is not in your sight, for you look upon yourself alone.” T-13.V.6.
The body, its five physical senses and appetites were set up to be our primary preceptor (guru and master), made to record and broadcast the ego’s core desire – guilt, separation and attack. In this profound confusion, it sends the body’s senses to pursue both pleasure and pain, hiding one malevolent secret: That pleasure and pain are the same because they share the identical purpose – to make the body real in our awareness; to identify as a body. And while the body is perceived as real, our one shared and Holy Self will be viewed as a threat.
This translates to forgiveness being an outright threat to the ego’s core desire. Forgiveness retrieves and erases everything the body identity seemed to witness or experience, thus undoing the past. Blamelessness, guiltlessness and true union are its result. Separate body identities lose their “wish to be unfairly treated” and withdraw their previous projections of attack.
Whenever I am triggered in whatever form, this is my consistent reminder:
I’m seeing the false-self’s wish to be attacked here. No one and nothing can attack me if I choose to forgive the single cause, my wish for self-attack. If I am sick or in pain, or if I am angry or offended by someone, it occurs because of my un-forgiven wish to be separate from my Source; unopposed Love and innocence.
What about my past abuse? Through the ego’s wish to be unfairly treated, we repeat this in each lifetime. The false-self literally projects illusions, using others to seemingly attack us. All seeming attack in the past, if still believed and un-forgiven, is dragged into the present and superimposed over it. That way it is repeated into the future.
The function of memory of past pain is to completely obscure the present and the people in it. This is why we never relate with people as they are; we relate to our interpretation of them based on our un-forgiven past.
The ego’s projections of suffering, if not forgiven, become present blocks to Love and healing. They act as a huge screen that shrouds others, upon which we project our un-forgiven beliefs in betrayal and abandonment. Conflict, pain and loss are believed and experienced as real.
Whereas the truth could not be more contrasting. Everyone, along with each instant, is entirely free of the past. In the present Holy Instant there is no past. The thick veil of our past projections is lifted. We open to seeing everyone as they are – in changeless innocence.
“To perceive truly is to be aware of all reality through the awareness of your own. But for this no illusions can rise to meet your sight, for reality leaves no room for any error. This means that you perceive a brother only as you see him [now.] His past has no reality in the present, so you cannot see it. Your past reactions to him are also not there, and if it is to them that you react, you see but an image of him that you made and cherish instead of him. In your questioning of illusions, ask yourself if it is really sane to perceive what was as now. If you remember the past as you look upon your brother, you will be unable to perceive the reality that is now.” T-13.VI.1.
We only see what we want to see. We only feel what we want to feel. And we only experience what we want to experience. Nothing happens to us that is against our will. But what do we want? Do we want to know above all else that we’re not separate from our Source of Love? If so, we must look past what we have projected into the body and others, and ask to see what is really there, rather than what the false-self has projected. We must want to see everyone as guiltless, as innocent.
We cannot see the innocent truth in anyone or anything until we first desire it.
“The miracle enables you to see your brother without his past, and so perceive him as born again. His errors are all past, and by perceiving him without them you are releasing him. And since his past is yours, you share in this release.” T-13.VI.5:1-3
There are two ways of seeing. One is through the body’s senses (filter of fear) and does not exist. The other is vision or seeing in Light, which does exist. People and events are not bad or evil. To the degree we are triggered by someone or something, is the same degree we are mistakenly projecting our own secret wish to be unfairly treated – so we can prove that we are special and separate. All this is to reinforce the illusion of a special body identity, as rejection of the one, innocent and majestic Holy Self we share in Spirit.
“In any union with a brother in which you seek to lay your guilt upon him, or share it with him or perceive his own, [you] will feel guilty. Nor will you find satisfaction and peace with him, because your union with him is not real.” T-13.X.3:1-2
We can afford to have major gratitude for all our triggers because when re-purposed in the Light, they reveal exactly where we have mistakenly valued our wish to be separate and to self-attack, so it can be healed as the one cause of every possible pain, illness, relationship conflict or problem.
There is always only one problem; and one Holy solution. There is no degree of difficulty in healing anything in this dream. Why? Because all of it stems from one fundamental illusion – the insane wish to be separate. When we drop to our knees in heartfelt gratitude to recognize this without exception, we will have embraced the Course’s number one miracle principle: “There is no order of difficulty in miracles.”
“The state of guiltlessness is only the condition in which what is not there has been removed from the disordered mind that thought it was. This state, and only this, must you attain, with God beside you. For until you do, you will still think that you are separate from Him.” T-14.IV.2:2-4
NOTE: As for a practical tool to help speed up the healing process, click here for the Seven Essential Principles of Quantum Forgiveness
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