Copyright 2012 Nouk Sanchez
Everything we do without mindful awareness of Spirit, is done with the ego.
Just stop and think about that. This is pretty frightening if most of what we do, we do independently of Spirit. It also means that while we seem to be accomplishing in the world…it is really the ego sabotaging us. While we allow ourselves to be mindlessly distracted by trying to solve the ego’s illusory problems…then it will be the ego manifesting its secret sabotage, disguised as solutions.
Whenever we decide to do something or experience something without consciously inviting Spirit to look at it with us, we will use it as a defense against God’s Love as our Holy Self. This includes both seemingly good and bad experiences. Whether we are in emotional or physical pain or enjoying a blissful experience…engaging in mindful presence is the key to true transformation. Mindful presence with Spirit, is the complete absence of judgment including self judgment. When there is judgment, the ego is doing the looking. There are no good or bad experiences; they are either helpful or not depending on if we do them with the ego, or whether we are present with Spirit. Everything good or bad can be used by Spirit to help us awaken from fear.
I had independently controlled my exercise routine for many years, and did not really invite Spirit in to do it with me because I had a secret fear that Spirit would sabotage it (ego projection again). After all, the ego thought it knew better than Spirit; that I needed to follow a routine religiously because if I dared to deviate from it, then I’d risk falling back. I then remembered to ask the most important question of all time, “what is this for?” Why was I doing this? Was the intent from fear or from Love?
Asking this question of everything we do is very important. And through this deeper level of self inquiry, we can unearth all the hidden ego laws and agendas that our defenses have concealed.
“Let no defenses but your present trust direct the future, and this life becomes a meaningful encounter with the truth that only your defenses would conceal.” W-135.19:2.
This kind of self inquiry reveals just how many senseless ego laws we have placed ourselves under. While believing in them, we unknowingly expect them and must then attract them into our experience. When we maintain allegiance to these laws, we essentially reject God’s Laws in our experience; hence the lack of consistent miracles, joy, Love and security in our lives. As we cling to ego’s laws we unknowingly hold ourselves hostage to a hierarchy of illusions. This translates to blocking the miracle. And while we invest in a hierarchy of illusions we cannot truly understand or experience the profound truth and joy, that there is no order of difficulty in miracles. By continuing to value the ego’s laws, we sadly reject the miracle.
Discovering Our Hidden Ego Laws
What are the hidden ego laws (expectations) behind our defenses? Here are some examples of self inquiry.
Examples of common ego defenses; undertaken with the ego: exercise, dieting, medication, supplements, sacrifice, financial frugality increases security, paying bills, shopping, etc.
Examples of conscious ego beliefs, laws: Exercise slows down the aging process. Dieting sheds weight. Medication heals the body. Supplements increase health. Sacrifice and struggle get me what I want. Saving increases financial gain, etc.
Example of hidden ego fears and unconscious expectations: Following here, are some of the destructive beliefs we discover when we begin radical self inquiry. What actually lies behind all our defenses? What is it that we hide from ourselves? It is the ego’s belief that the body is ‘who’ I am. The body appears to be more powerful than the mind. I must therefore be a body. And the world I see must be real. If I believe I am a body, and not the mind, then I also believe that I am powerless over the ravages of the body, disease, aging, scarcity, conflict, pain, depression, loss, abandonment, betrayal, separation, time and death. My belief then is that I must independently defend myself (without Spirit) from attacks made by the body and the world.
The truth that the ego never wants us to discover is that whatever I defend against, I make real in my perception. Now I have made the body, the world and attack real. Furthermore, I cannot forgive what I have made real. True forgiveness can only take place when I take responsibility for what my ego projected. I see that all attack is always self-attack, regardless of the form it takes. I then surrender my mistake to Spirit, and accept my inheritance being the miracle of healed perception instead. This is the Atonement.
My will is as powerful as God’s Will. And if I defend myself, I must expect attack. God’s Will cannot save me from my independent ego will’s expectations. I then expect to be hostage of the body, the world and time through my defense against it. This is exactly what the ego wants and how it keeps its power in our perception and subsequent experience.
Turning our Mistaken Beliefs over to Spirit
Once you have unearthed some ego beliefs that you wish to surrender, you might find the following prayer helpful.
“Spirit, please accept my unconscious ego beliefs and expectations (idols). I do not want to be hostage to these ego laws any longer. I sincerely offer you these beliefs and will try to bring mindful awareness into all I do from now on. This means that as I ______(eat, take medication, supplements, manage finances, pay bills, go shopping, interact with others, exercise, etc)_____, I bring your Loving presence and wisdom into my awareness, suspending all judgment. As I gradually discover and surrender these ego beliefs to you, I trust that you will increase my trust in you (Spirit). And show me how to free myself from all ego beliefs and laws.”
Much of what we do, we do from fear and not from Love, until we discover and surrender our hidden defenses or idols. When we interact with others, do we do it with the ego? Or are we mindfully present with Love? When we listen to thoughts in our mind, do we believe the inner critic who casts judgment? Or do we choose only to believe the Voice for Love? Because we will not hear the Holy Self until we learn to disregard the inner critic.
When we eat, whom do we eat with? Do we eat mindlessly with fear? Or do we eat mindfully with Love? When we review our bank account or pay bills, which inner teacher do we allow to influence our perception? If there is a belief in scarcity then the ego is looking. Any sense of fear or scarcity is an immediate sign of inner conflict. It’s a prompt urging us to offer up our erroneous perception and accept Atonement instead. The true shift to abundance occurs when we relinquish the only cause of scarcity, which is our fear (guilt). Contrary to the ego, if we attempt to solve scarcity issues from fear…we manifest more scarcity.
So many of the common things we value in the world are unrecognized ego idols. They act as defenses against finding our infinite security within as our Holy Self. These are the defenses that block our awareness of Love’s presence; our infinite Love, abundance and security. What I am learning is that my emotional and physical health depend on listening within, and never on any worldly form that the ego hijacks as a defense against Love.